SILENCE THE INNER PEOPLE PLEASER
-  Kristin Coons, Contributing Writer

Kristin Coons started The Inspired Mom to celebrate all of you moms who are out there following your dreams.  Being a mom is the most important job that any of us will ever have.  Finding time to pursue personal goals seems secondary to taking care of a family.  But, I believe that finding the time for personal goals makes being a mom easier and more enjoyable- for everyone involved.

I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure--which is: Try to please everybody - Herbert Bayard Swope

August 20, 2008 and my mailbox is already filling up with Halloween catalogs.  I should have expected this since I got a “back-to-school” advertisement just two weeks after my kids got OUT of school.  But really, the Halloween catalog was my sign that it is time to get my kids geared up for their first day of school.

Back-to-school is such a bittersweet time for busy moms.  On the one hand, the school day brings small stretches of freedom to focus on projects and goals that we put off in exchange for taking the kids to the park, beach or zoo.   On the other hand, the frenzy of hurried breakfast, volunteer lists and homework kick into high gear once the kids go back.  This fall I have a secret weapon that is going to make my life a whole lot easier- it’s a trick my husband taught me in the spring, which was just a little too late to really help me avoid all of the breakdowns I suffered from September through June this year.  I am going to share this with you all now - so you can avoid the same outcome that I had last year.

The trick is using the phrase: “Let me get back to you on that”.  This phrase comes in handy in all sorts of situations.  When my kids ask for the 3rd play date of the week - I now say, “Let me get back to you on that.”  When I was asked to head up the fund-raising for our school’s education foundation I said, “Let me get back to you on that.”  When my husband asks if I can swing by the market for shaving cream and deodorant, I say, “ Let me get back to you on that.”  His wisdom actually backfired on him!

Us moms tend to be people pleasers; we want to say, “Yes.   Of course, what can I do to help?”  We take care of everyone except ourselves - then feel guilty that we didn’t do more!  Eventually, we end up stressed out and overwhelmed.

I encourage all parents to volunteer at their kid’s school and to be involved in their education.  But, I have learned that:
A) Other parents will help if you ask them.
B) You don’t have to say yes to every project that comes your way.
C) You are entitled to set aside time for pursuing your own goals.

The phrase “Let me get back to you.”  Gives you extra time to think about whether you really can fit this extra task on your calendar.  My kids don’t need to have friends over every day and my husband looks nice with a short beard. If you limit your commitments, you will have more time to relax and enjoy your kids, your life and your health.

Visit www.theinspiredmom.com to read more about being inspired!