PAYING TRIBUTE TO FABULOUS GRANDMAS

Susan White, fabulous Glamma, with granddaughter Ella (2 ½)

SUSAN WHITE: THE ULTIMATE GLAMMA

-By Tabitha Parker, Contributing Writer and daughter of Susan White

When I began this task of writing about my mother – I thought, there truly are no words to describe this phenomenal woman. She is no normal mom. She is by far one of the most dynamic women I have met in my life – an example of what one person who possesses the qualities of resourcefulness, determination, vision and perseverance can accomplish against all odds.   With class, style and glam, this Glamma is the queen of creating. She created her story, her life, her world from what seemed to be thin air. Known to her grandchild as “the Q” – the “term” grandma being just too blasé, she is constantly on the cutting edge of cool.

And why does this mom stand out and speak out? There are those of us that live life passively accepting what trends are hot, what news is telling us and there are others that create the reality we live in  - those that are so visionary they are able to see beyond what the average eye can see and set the trends themselves. Dynamic, hip, ALWAYS on the cutting edge of what is going to be new tomorrow – my mom is by far that mom that everyone wished they had. I can remember as a young girl trying to devise ways to steal her wardrobe – if only I had her wardrobe and style, I thought. But it was not the clothes that so perfectly draped her beautiful body – it was how she carried herself – always blending an air of confidence, poise and boldness.

My mother was a survivor – and it was her unwavering determination that made her also my role model. Working most of my young life as a mom (and yes, that is work), she found herself a single mom in her early thirties with no career – but this did not mean she did not have skills. Those she didn’t have, she created, honed and possessed as if they were always a part of her – as if these qualities had been bottled up in her since the beginning of time and now, finally finding their way to center stage.

She simply became what she needed to be, what was required of her to be successful in this world– her dynamic personality created her reality even when everyone told her – YOU CAN’T DO THAT. Those words simply did not exist in my mother’s vocabulary.  There was never the question of IF one could do something – the only question was HOW. 

Susan White, looking fabulous

What is more hip than instilling in your children the unshakable belief that you can DO ANYTHING you want in this world. You can BE anyone, anything you want to be. I watched my mother do just that – going from being a stay at home mom, her life filled with ceramic classes and PTA meetings – to running advertising at Calvin Klein and being the President of Donna Karen in New York City –the fashion center of the world.  This was a world that many tried to get into for years – schooled in all the right fashion institutes and knowing the right people. For my mother it was the other way around – she neither had the connections or the schooling. In fact, when she entered the fashion world she had never had any experience in it – but that did not stop her from dramatically increasing the bottom line of those companies. They came to her – the fashion world found my mother because it was inevitable not to – she emanated everything they wanted.

But do not think for a second that she was magically just embodying these qualities – my mother is the hardest working person I have ever met. If her job required her to stay up all night to get a report done, to work overtime, to sacrifice what she wanted today for what she would gain tomorrow, my mother did it. She is an example of how hard-working people can make their dreams come true – of the American dream.

Raising 2 kids as a single mom – my Glamma single handedly created herself – she had a dream and went after it and let nothing stop her. She became the manager of the first time-share resort in Connecticut because the owners liked her energy – she had no experience in that world – but these entrepreneurs knew greatness when they saw it – and they saw that my mother could help them. She has led the most interesting of lives, worked in the most incredible jobs and met some amazing people and all because she was willing to take the risk to go into a world she knew nothing about. She is fearless. Courageous. She is an example of true determination. She rose up in the fashion world in 3 short years, and we used to laugh about how she was going to be ruler of the universe next!   But that was not her first conquest and would certainly not be her last.

As a child there are few things more important than dependability in a parent. Thru all the trials and tribulations of my life, my mother has always been there for me – in the early hours of the morning, at any time of day or night– I always know that she is there for me no matter what. I have never had to worry, not once in my life, thru many blunders and mistakes, that my mother would not be there for me when I needed her. She truly is what a MOM should be. Her dedication to her work and to her life has always been to give her children the gifts she did not have as a child – and that she has done.

My mother’s mother died when she was 13 years old. The stories I have heard about my grandmother makes me think that she was like my mom – a truly phenomenal woman. But my mother did not have a mom herself – to raise her, to guide her, to always be there for her, to set an example of how to be a truly amazing mom. More than a better life and incredible values, my mother has given me what she was robbed at such a young age. The most important thing about motherhood is being a mom – not having that example of what it meant to be a mom, not having the support of a mother to be there for you always, my mother created herself as not just any mom but a phenomenal Glamma. She has given to me the gift that her mother wanted to give to her and more than anything I will forever treasure her friendship, guidance and inspiration and only hope I can be as phenomenal a mother to my children as she has been to me.

Richard Weintraub and "Mama Ona", 1976

REMEMBERING MAMA ONA
- Richard Weintraub is proud to be married to half the Tastybaby duo, Liane! He is the devoted dad of Ava (2 ½) and Cole (1 ½), and spends the rest of his time working in real estate in Los Angeles.

I always called my grandmother “Mama Ona.”  It was a hybrid of her name, Leona, and “grandma,” which I could neither pronounce as a baby, nor would she have been very receptive to being named.   Without a doubt, Mama Ona was the most influential figure in my childhood, and until she passed away last month at the age of 99 ½.  
Throughout my life, I don’t have a single memory of Mama Ona when she looked less than impeccable.  She was always “put together” and dressed to perfection.  Even in her last weeks when she fell and became ill, she never really looked an “old lady.”  For one thing, she looked incredible.  I literally couldn’t believe it was possible to look so beautiful, having been through so much, without her hair done and wearing no make-up (and, by the way, she would have hated the idea of anyone seeing her that way).  
For another thing, she was never out of touch or “living in the past,” like so many people of an advanced age.  Many of her anecdotes took place decades ago, but she always framed them in a modern way, and gave them a contemporary spin.  When she left, she was absolutely a part of this modern world – informed and aware of what was going on in politics, culture and even the latest gossip.  She was 100% current.
Some of my earliest memories of Mama Ona are of spending every Monday with her – and in recent years, she spent every Thursday with our children, Ava and Cole.  She would take me and my brother out for picnic lunches, and to do whatever we wanted – in my case, going to car dealerships and visiting open houses.  Not exactly “normal” for an 8-year-old, but she was always game.
When I was 19 years old, and thinking of working full-time in lieu of going to college, Mama Ona went ballistic.  She was going in for back surgery, and as she was on the gurney, being wheeled into the operating room, she requested a phone so she could call to beseech me that “if I don’t make it, please get a college degree in my name!”  Education was always so important to her – she was a born teacher.  To this day, what little grasp I have on proper grammar is due to her.  (She never really succeeded in fixing my spelling, though!)
Politics and ethics were also hugely important to her.  Whether it was democratic issues, supporting the ADL or just doing the right thing, she was always passionately committed to her causes.  Although she wasn’t an especially religious person, her sense of right and wrong never flagged.  She was a tough critic – but if you were lucky enough to receive her praise, you’d know you had earned it.  One area she wasn’t particularly discriminating about, though, was her admiration and support of her many grand-children.  She always made sure we knew she was interested in everything we did.  She remembered the details of all our jobs and projects, and always made a point of asking pertinent questions – “what's the best thing about what you’re doing?!” – to make us feel special.
Vanity was another big part of her personality.  She always looked immaculate and elegant, and she worked hard at it.  Looking as chic and put-together as she did, well into her 90s, took an incredible amount of dedication and self-respect.  Here’s the extent of that vanity: a few years ago her house was broken into and she was mugged at gun-point in a particularly nasty attack.  She was hurt and bruised, and when she finally freed herself from the duct-tape that was used to bind her hands, the first thing she did was make herself “presentable.”  Before dialing 911, she put on a crisp navy suit, attached her ADL Lion of Judah pin to the lapel and applied lipstick.  Only then did she pick up the phone.
Many of my friends have wonderful, nostalgic stories about their grand-mothers’ cooking.  Tales of unforgettable pot-roasts and home-made pies.  Not Mama Ona.  There probably never was a worse cook!  If you know the old saying about what a Jewish woman makes for dinner … well, Mama Ona made the best reservations in town!  And she wasn’t especially interested in food … unless you happened to be talking about chocolate, in which case she was VERY interested!  She would claim not to be able to finish her lunch, but if a box of Edelweiss Chocolates or some other “sinful” (her favorite word to describe sweets) dessert appeared, she definitely perked up.  Sounds like my daughter!

There were 2 things Mama Ona wanted to do in her life that never happened: One, to live to be 100.  The other, to see George W. Bush out of office.  I really wish she could have been around for each of those things … and more.
I realize that I’ve been incredibly lucky to have had my grandmother in my life as my guiding figure for so long.  She has been my mentor for 40 years, and there were very few days in all those years that we didn’t speak at least once.  She was never bored or uninterested.  A week before she died, she called to ask me advice on how to look after an orchid I’d sent her.  She was planning to enjoy it for a long time, and wanted to know how best to take care of it.  
It’s hard to believe that she’s actually gone, but I feel very peaceful about it.  I believe she left on her own terms, knowing what an incredible gift she has been in my life, my wife’s and our children’s.  On Mother’s Day, I will be remembering Mama Ona – my grand-mother, my counselor, my teacher, my advisor, my guide and my wonderful, funny, chic, glamorous, silly, provocative, incorrigible, brilliant, unforgettable friend.

Richard with daughter Ava and son Cole, 2006