TIME TO SLOW DOWN (WHETHER I LIKE IT OR NOT)

 
- Liane Weintraub, Editor-in-Chief 

Wouldn't you know it, just when I thought I was hitting my "stride," I went and broke my knee-cap. So now I'm stuck, hobbling on crutches for the next 6 weeks or more.
Let me back up a little ...

If you've been following my blogs lately, you know that I've been struggling with finding the ever-elusive balance between my work & my home life.  (That's a big assumption, I realize, since I barely have time to write those blogs, so what mom actually has time to read the rantings of another frazzled woman?!  But I digress ...) Anyway, while the struggle for balance continues, I was feeling some sort of equilibrium starting to emerge. Sure, every day was a sprint, but I was managing to fit it all in, when all of a sudden, I tripped.

I had just returned from a particularly grueling business trip (without Shannan, which is always way less fun than when we travel together), and I decided to leave the office early to go home and play with my kids. We were just being silly - chasing each other around - and like a klutz, I fell. Hard. On my knee.

In that instant I made a new discovery of a special feat I think only a mom can achieve ... I laughed!  Every fiber of my being wanted to shriek out and cry in pain (it was excruciating!), but for the sake of not scaring the kids, I held it in. I didn't lose it until the doctor pronounced my patella "broke, and bad."

The irony that this month our theme is "Health & Wellness" soon began to sink in. Sure, I could explore Rabbi Sherre Hirsch's wise guidance, and focus on spiritual health, but let's face it, my physical health isn't exactly at it's peak right now.

Besides hobbling un-elegantly on crutches, my right leg is twice the size (and black & blue) of my left and I'm strapped into a brace that resembles some medieval torture device. I'm tall and my knee can't bend even one degree, so I can't ride in the font seat of a car because my leg won't fit.  Instead, I have to be "loaded in," like freight. I have to lie across the entire back seat of an SUV and, let me tell you, that does NOT make for a classy arrival at a fancy restaurant!

Well, boo hoo for me, I suppose. I can't claim not to have felt sorry for myself at all (like when I can't get on the floor to play with my kids, or give them their baths or at night when my leg is literally POUNDING with pain), but let's face it: I'm lucky. After all, this, too shall pass. With physical therapy, my knee will eventually heal. I think of all the people who are PERMANENTLY disabled, and I feel silly even letting out a sigh for myself. 

The lesson, I suppose, is that I need to slow down a bit. All my racing to fit in all my responsibilities had me in a frenzy of rushing to-and-fro and Olympian multi-tasking.  I was always proud of managing to get as much done as I did, but now I genuinely see that there was a cost to my health & wellness in all that "accomplishment.". I was utterly depleted - physically, emotionally, spiritually and every which way. Not that I would have admitted that, or frankly, slowed down long enough to consider it!

Will I ever become that classic, easy-going, California Type-B girl without a care in the world?  Unlikely, without a personality transplant. To some extent, I'm just wired a certain way. But at least for the next 6 weeks, things will be a little different, and I'll be forced to take my time getting from point A to point B ... alas, I won't be skipping through the proverbial tulips. I'll be struggling to emerge from the back of a car with some shred of dignity.