IMPROVISATION IS A MUST

- JoAnna Ross Contributing Writer

You never know how you are going to affect someone when you meet him or her. People come in and out of our lives all the time. I get to teach a lot of kids and my roster changes weekly. Sometimes I teach kids 1 time a year and sometimes I teach them 2 times a week.
I had the privilege to teach at a private school in the month of March. I taught 7th & 8th graders plus the high school. The 7th and 8th graders were tough for 2 reasons:
1. I only get to meet them once. That’s it and I have to hook them on yoga.
2. They are 7th and 8th graders

So I go in to teach them yoga thinking I have done this a million times before, so I’ll teach a basic class. But that was silly because I know better with kids. You can never "plan" anything -- it’s more of a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants job. IMPROVASATION is a MUST!

The first group was great, and I must commend them. If they continue on in their lives with open minds and try-anything attitudes they showed me, they will be very successful people. They embraced the yoga, showed me respect and tried new things. They didn’t judge what they did and they had fun with the challenges.

I thought all my 7th and 8th grade classes were going to be just as lovely, but ... my next class couldn’t have been more different or difficult. I was constantly asking them to be quiet or disciplining someone. I kicked out 2 people and was growing more and more frustrated. I finally stopped the class when this boy said, “ I can’t do this. This is something I can’t do. I can’t, I can’t, I can’t!” about a pose we were in. The sentence had so many "can’ts" in it that I had to stop. (Saying "I can’t" is my pet peeve and I simply don’t allow it.)

So, I stopped the class and told him this: "you are right when you say "I can’t" do something that you won’t do. You have made up your mind not to do it, so now I "can’t" teach you. When you say "I can’t," you stop yourself. I don’t care if you do the pose -- what I care about is that you try."

He sat there a moment and then said "well, I meant that I am having a hard time." Everything changed in that moment -- I felt like maybe I got through to him!  But 5 minutes later he kept talking. He wouldn’t be quiet.
So I asked him, “do you ever listen?”
He replied, “no.”
I asked, “why?”
He said, “my mom doesn’t give me any options and my father does.”
“Oh so your parents are divorced?” I guessed.
“Yes.”
I said, “that must be really tough.”

After that, I never had to tell him to be quiet again. He had been heard. I sympathized . He was looking for attention. I gave it to him.

I love this story. I love that maybe I helped one child out. I know it is hard to be a parent, and that I probably have no idea how hard it really is.  What I want to point out is the "I CAN'T" syndrome starts when children are young, so please keep it out of your child’s vocabulary! The 2-year-olds I teach aren’t allowed to say it, and neither are the 82-year-olds. Replace the word with "I will try." I wish that every time a child (or anyone for that matter) says "I can’t," a green pile of goo would come down from the sky like fon the TV show "I CAN'T DO THAT ON TELEVISION!"  That show was on to something.  Since you probably won't be able to rig green goo to your ceiling, try starting a jar to put money in every time someone in your house says "I CAN'T" ... then think of something significant to spend that money on.