Ah, the joy of having a baby. It’s filled with love, warmth, joy… And guilt. Believe it or not, we both still have a pile of birth announcements (that would be Shannan) and thank-you notes (that’s Liane– for Cole’s 1st birthday) sitting on our desks. Oh, the guilt associated with having poor etiquette! In actuality, we are both very polite girls. Really, we are. It’s just a question of finding the time to write those cards. Especially when people send gifts that are really thoughtful and meaningful. We want to do the gift justice– find the words to express just how much they mean to us and to our children. How can you sum up in a few, rushed lines, what a hand-made quilt or blanket means? Or a keep-sake that you know will be one of your child’s treasures forever? Or an outfit that’ll be featured in photo albums you’ll cherish? There’s really only one answer: start writing now! So, we’ll resolve to get those heart-felt words on paper immediately, this instant, right away-- just as soon as we have a free minute!

LIFE IN A BLIZZARD OF BABIES

- Peter Bacanovic, Contributing Writer

Late. I am unusually late. Late to the world of newborn babies and to the wonderful rituals leading up to their birth and that continue for months after.

The majority of my closest childhood girlfriends did not have their first children until they were in their late thirties or in their early forties. With impressive but pressured careers and or with uncertain romantic lives, this became the trend in my closest circle of friends. However, curiously, it has also just been a five-year period during which many other friends, acquaintances and professional or business relationships also had their first child, and their second, and, in one case, their third. My great good fortune brought me my two beloved Godchildren during this period, Bristol and Luke.

My mailbox was full. From the carefully engraved invitations and birth announcement cards, to the very edgy emails complete with surreal imagery, sound and color it became a true baby blizzard that took me by surprise. Without children of my own, I did not adequately appreciate the full intensity of a new infant’s arrival at first. I did learn quickly though.

Initially, it seemed materialistic and shallow to me. However, the ultimate importance of the newborn’s gift proves to be the most polite and welcome form of acknowledgement that it represents to the new parents. Although some might claim otherwise, all new parents are delighted with the presents their infant receives. Similarly, they appear to never forget the friend or colleague who might have been living abroad that year– let alone across town– who forgot to send even a card of congratulations.

Let’s get down to business. The celebration of birth. The present. How do you pick the right one? Not all babies are created equal in your life. It is a fact. The thought and generosity that are fueled into one’s Godchild, niece, nephew or grandchild should not be compared to the consideration that a lovable but distant little baby across the country whom you may never meet will receive. So gifts must exist at many levels. This was the lesson that I had to learn.

Let’s break this process down into two categories. Godchildren and family, and all the other beautiful babies who, at birth, do not necessarily presume that you will play an important role in their future– Group 1 being the former and Group 2 being the latter.

Group 1 -- The new intimates.  Go for it!

The girls.
The gift that I have enjoyed giving, above all others, to a little girl is a sterling silver place setting. Every year thereafter and on their birthday, I offer another place setting so that by her 18th birthday she will be ready to give one hell of a dinner party. Special occasions and celebrations can also inspire other silver items to form a complete set such as serving spoons, cake knives or the perfect box in which to place the service. Of course the thought and ultimate value of this present will be lost on a young child but you can be certain that they will figure it out soon enough.

The boys.
There are two options for me here. A sterling silver highball glass at birth with another one to be given each year on their birthday is a gift that extends into the boy’s future in a similar way. This gift can also survive the many moves typical in most men’s lives. It is also a luxury that brings some fantasy into the boy’s life. I like to entertain and to spend time with my friends– no secret to those who know me. These two ideas reflect that.

Collectable children’s books. Sets of illustrated books that might be out of print, very beautifully produced and rare are always treasured. There are book dealers in every major city who deal in this area and who can help you find a desirable set or help you to create your own assortment of books to give. These books are then often handed down from one generation to the other.

Group 2 -- be clever, be original and mix it up.

The “holders." Penhaligon, the wonderful and historic English perfumer, sells a holder for the first lock of hair. Silver plated with a silk cord and a name tag attached, it is perfect for little boys and girls. They also sell a tooth fairy box, again with silk cord and tag, in which to place the child’s first fallen tooth. Given individually or together, these chic and original items make everyone smile. Penhaligon delivers them beautifully wrapped and they can be ordered online.

Music. Compact discs of lullabies and soothing sounds of all sorts are always welcome. Most babies enjoy the soft sounds. They can speed up the nap and bedtime process. They can also be carefully chosen and sent from online merchants who wrap and send the presents more promptly that I could. If you are feeling inspired, a portable stereo for the child’s room makes a nice companion gift in this case.

Video. There are so many DVDs that adapt classical music to visually stimulating images for infants. The “Baby Series" (Beethoven, Bach…) are the most famous and easy to find. Again, if the mood takes you, a television with a built-in dvd player can be very thoughtful and generous companion gift.

The onesie. Who knew? This one piece of clothing that covers the infant’s entire body, and feet too sometimes, is the most useful item in the baby’s wardrobe. It also seems that there can never be too many in one household. They also come in every possible design and price. You can get very creative in this case and it helps to use your sense of humor. I always try to find hats or beanies to give with the onsies.

The infant “cases.” These comfortable pouches keep the baby warm and make their cold-weather travel easier.  Practical and reasonably priced, they are always a huge hit with the parents. Check out the “Hugmebag” on Amazon.com.

Never forget to congratulate parents for the arrival of their newborn. While presents are not always possible, a well-chosen card with your thoughtful words is imperative. The acknowledgement of this happiest moment, a new baby’s arrival, should never, ever be forgotten.